From an Adult with Hemi...

I was sent this letter awhile ago and I just re-read it. I have such mixed feelings about reading it. It's a pretty intense letter. I do not know the author personally, I was forwarded it from someone else.

Hiya, I'm Jennifer, right hemi since birth...
Firstly I have to say hemiplegia is so frustrating, you have no idea. I can sit and sit just willing my right arm to reach to pick up a pencil I've dropped on the floor, and it feels like my arm is being purposely defiant, laughing at me trying so hard and having little success.When your children play they probably feel as I do, anger at their body for not doing as it’s told. They have no way to get across their feelings, particularly if they are too young to verbalize them or if they have learning difficulties, so anger is the only way they can get across the frustration and hurt they are feeling inside, the injustice of it all.They will realize in time that there isn't any rhyme or reason in the whole hemiplegia business. With your help they'll learn, just as I did, that there'll never be an answer to the question "why me?" and they'll accept that and carry on with their lives regardless. In the mean time - as silly as this seems - be grateful for their anger, it’s a means of communication, ok it’s not the best way to communicate but still it’s the best your children can do for now. They have anger so they have energy, they have the ability to think, to know, that hemiplegia is frustrating. If they were calm all the time, if hemiplegia didn't bother them, if they weren't concerned they can't run as fast or as far as their classmates etc. then they'd never try and they'd never want to reach their full potential.So you have to - somehow - encourage them, find a positive way for them to release their anger. Keep telling them its ok to be angry, you would too if your arm and leg were weak/hurting but anger is not productive and it certainly is not ok to bite etc. because it hurts, and hurting someone not a nice thing to do. I know you'll probably have tried that a million times already but keep saying it! Re-enforcing it will help it sink in. As they get older, tell them it’s not their fault, it’s nothing they've done, and they're not alone, you will always be there for them to talk and you love them more than anything in the world. You have to have the patience of a saint, but it'll be worth it. Anger will turn into tears but then they will calm down and peace will be restored.It will get easier, I promise.